with "bang with your friends"?
What is it?
Social
networks are part of our everyday activities in today's world. There are a
number of ways we can meet new people, find a lover, go on dates or even find
someone to have sex with. Another one of these came out lately and it is called
''Bang with your friends''. This
tool allows you to secretly choose
which of your friends on Facebook you would like to have sex with. If you end
up with a match, then you are both advised of your sexual desire towards each
other and it's up to you to choose to go through with it or not. How good or
how bad of an idea is this new social (sexual) network tool?
Why use it?
The
first thing that can come to mind is that this is a great tool for people who
are too shy to seduce some of their friends out of fear of rejection and
potentially losing the friendship. It also allows fuelling our curiosity by
finally confirming who secretly fantasizes about us in our social circle. Have
you ever had doubts about someone wanting you sexually, but were never able to
actually confirm your suspicions? Well, now you can with this tool. What could
potentially go wrong with two consenting adults who have mutual sexual desire
for each and end up finding out with ''Bang with your friends''? Is it really
different than having a one-night stand with a complete stranger we picked up
at a bar. Some would even consider it better since you at least have some
history with this person. Who knows, it might actually blossom into a
full-blown romantic relationship.
What you need to consider before using it?
Advantages
aside, what are the underlying complications and considerations of using such a
service? First off, you’re inevitably changing the dynamic of the relationship
from friendship to friends with benefits, commonly know as ''fuck friends''.
Sharing a sexual experience with someone requires some form of intimacy that
was not present in the previous dynamic. When you add sex to the mix, you’re
getting to know your friend in a whole different way. Sexuality is for most
people where their insecurities come out the most. Our sense of femininity and
masculinity, body image, sexual performance, emotions, love, sexual fantasies,
and much more all come into play when you literally and figuratively get naked
with someone.
There
are many elements that need to be thought about when using this new service,
that is so readily accessible. It's important to think about the reasons your
using it. Are you looking for someone you just want to have sex with or a
long-term relationship with a friend? How will this change the relationship?
What is the other person looking for? How will each of you react when one of
you gets another partner? How do you terminate this relationship and go back to
being friends?
On
another note, what drives people to use this service rather than trying their
chances by sexually seducing the people they desire? Besides the fact that this
is done behind closed doors and if the person doesn't share the same sexual
desire you don't have to feel the rejection. But then again, you still get to
feel it, because you didn't get a match. Therefore, you suffer in silence and
you get to avoid the embarrassment. What do you do, if you do get a positive
response, but you don't necessarily have the guts to actually go forward with
it anymore?
Short term vs. long term
Such
as it was stated earlier, this is great tool for people who have a hard time
seducing, because they don't need to go through it all with this service. Then
again, is it really helping them in the long run? If someone has a hard time
with the risks that flirting always entails, how will they ever learn to cope
with real time rejection, which no one can avoid in the dating scene.
''Bang
with your friends'' has some advantages, but it also has its inconveniences
that are more long term. Taking the time to reflect on the use of such a tool
is a must before you start changing some of your friendship dynamics.
Francois Renaud M.A.
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